27 March 2020

When the great forces of the Moabites and Ammonites were on their way to make war on King Jehoshaphat, he ran to the Lord with the beautiful prayer of,

“We don’t know what to do but our eyes are on you.”

I love that prayer. That’s my prayer for today. That’s my prayer for this season. (That’s been my prayer for many seasons. Standing in the laundry room crying because of fear over Eddie. Feeling stressed with keeping all my kids and the house and life organized. Feeling concern over a job. You name it. So many times). But particularly tonight I pray this prayer.

We don’t know what to do but our eyes are on You, Lord.

As moms this is an interesting season for us. I read an article this past week about how moms of children with special needs are equipped in extra ways this season. In some ways we are. We know about plans turned upside down and lots of unknown. We know what it means to feel isolated. We know what we can change and can’t change. We’ve learned what should and should not cause panic (a child unable to breath can cause our heart to race as we go into emergency mode. But toilet paper should not. Seriously, everyone! Toilet paper should not cause panic. In Russia there was cut up newspaper and people survived just fine. You women went through the pain of birthing a baby? Then you can handle anything in life including using newspaper if it comes to that 🤣). We’ve learned about being patient in the uncertainty when the fear is threatening to cripple our hearts. And we know about practical preparedness (Y’all! I had bought my food before corona was even popping up in my FB feed. I actually did a search on FB to see if any friends were even talking about it yet. Pretty much no one. And my garage was already full of Eddie’s special chips lolol. For real. Not because it gave me some sort of weird satisfaction to be a little queen of the preppers. But because I felt I had to). We have learned to plan ahead because special kids need moms that plan ahead. We’ve learned to roll with it and survive and just do the next thing because that’s what we have to do. We’ve learned to grieve over, and then let go, of our disappointments because that’s what must be done. And we’ve seen God come alongside us and give us the strength to do those things when we feel we have no strength and feel so completely inadequate. We’ve seen God do the wonders.
That’s helped me a lot in this season of Coronaness.

But at the end of the day we are still just like any other mom. Still unsure what to do. Still secure one moment and worried the next. Still really ticked that we didn’t buy more chocolate when we had the chance. And still kindof really wishing Target was in our living room so we could go there for a little stroll. And still really tired. Really not even sure what in the world to think about the world today. And that never ending nagging voice in our head questioning sadly how to be good mommies in the crazy.

BUT. OUR EYES ARE ON YOU, LORD! OUR EYES ARE ON YOU.

And we have God’s promise that His eye is on us. And that He LOVES us intimately and knows every need. Every fear. Every wish. Every feeling of failure. Every hope. Every frustration. Every tired moment. Every wonder. And He has it all in His victorious hand.

This brings peace. Joy. Rest.
So sleep well, my mommy friends. His eyes are upon us.

And edited to add:
Maybe listen to O Holy Night before you sleep. The triumph of the music. The triumph of the words. (And the thought that by Christmas things will be different lol). Listening to this just encouraged me so much while I was online hunting for the latest thing I can’t find for our household…

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices… O night when Christ was born….

Christ has come! He has burst forth into our darkness.

…Yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!